ACEs Resource: Parents Like Us – A Grey Bruce SON Guide for Families Affected by Substance Use

ACEs Resource: Parents Like Us: The Unofficial Survival Guide to Caring for a Loved One Who Uses Substances, is a locally adapted resource for caregivers, families and community members across Grey, Bruce and Saugeen Ojibway Nation (SON).

Developed from the experiences of people who understand this journey personally, Parents Like Us is written by loved ones for loved ones. Contributors include parents and caregivers, people with direct lived experience of addiction, family members and community members.

The Grey Bruce version was developed with leadership from the Grey Bruce Community Drug and Alcohol Strategy and contributing content from the Youth Council of Big Brothers, Big Sisters of Grey Bruce Simcoe and the Community Voices of the Bruce Grey Poverty Task Force.

Originally developed in British Columbia, Parents Like Us has since been successfully adapted in several Canadian communities, including Sault Ste. Marie and Thunder Bay.

The Grey Bruce Saugeen First Nation adaptation was supported by the Community Foundation of Grey Bruce.

 

 Why is Parents Like Us an important ACEs resource?

For the Grey Bruce Children’s Alliance and our Adverse Childhood Experiences & Resilience (ACER) work, this handbook is particularly valuable because it connects substance use with the broader circumstances of people’s lives.

The handbook describes substance use through a biopsychosocial lens, recognizing that biological, psychological and social factors can interact. It specifically identifies adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), trauma, mental health challenges, genetics and negative social influences among factors that may increase vulnerability to problematic substance use.

But Parents Like Us goes further than identifying risk. Its strongest connection to resilience may be its emphasis on relationships, connection, compassion, safety and belonging.

Looking beneath the behaviour

One of the most powerful messages comes from the handbook’s Youth Perspectives section. Young people encouraged adults to look beyond substance use and consider what may be happening beneath the surface.

Rather than asking: “What is wrong with this young person?”

the handbook encourages us to ask: “What has this young person been through?”

Youth participants identified stress, pain, trauma, loss, loneliness and overwhelming responsibilities as experiences that can contribute to substance use as a way of coping. They also remind adults that substance use does not define a young person—it is only one part of their story.

This shift—from judging behaviour to understanding experience—is closely aligned with an ACEs- and resilience-informed approach.

Relationships can be protective

The handbook repeatedly emphasizes the importance of maintaining connection.

Young people said they are more likely to seek support when they feel safe, heard and accepted. Trust develops over time, particularly when young people have previously felt judged, misunderstood or let down by adults. Supportive relationships at home, at school and in the community can help create the emotional safety needed to ask for help.

Families can also be important sources of strength and stability, while family stress, caregiving responsibilities and exposure to substance use can shape young people’s experiences.

Building resilience around young people

Parents Like Us also asks us to think beyond individual families.

Youth contributors called for supports in schools and communities that are accessible, welcoming, non-judgmental and responsive to young people’s realities. They highlighted education, community awareness, privacy and confidentiality, and envisioned communities where young people know where to turn and feel comfortable asking adults for help.

This is an important resilience message: supporting children and youth is not simply about changing individual behaviour. It is also about strengthening the relationships, families, schools, services and communities surrounding them.

A practical local resource

At more than 100 pages, Parents Like Us is designed to be used as a resource rather than necessarily read from beginning to end. Sections include:

Signs of Problematic Substance Use • The Science of Addiction • Harm Reduction • Substance Use Emergencies • Youth Perspectives • Navigating the Systems • Staying Connected • Family Relationships • Support for Yourself • Resources in Grey, Bruce & SON • Recommended Books & Websites.

Importantly, the people who contributed to the handbook live in Grey, Bruce and Saugeen Ojibway Nation and have themselves navigated local systems and resources. Their message to other caregivers is simple: you are not alone.